Last night, well, there's a new Irish horror film, Hokum, that I decided to check out - it's certainly highly rated! The Hideout actually went to it on Sunday evening, just late enough that those also coming to the Dracula launch could do both, if desired - and a couple did. (So yes, that was four films in a row for the organiser, who's just flown in from the States..) Closest showing to me that evening was in Peckhamplex - so, so glad it was a late one, giving me time to do the blog. And that was two films.. and seven scary things.. in a row!
Took a bus straight there - and wow, the place looks run down! Gentrification has not yet come to Peckham, by the looks of! As ever, when all else fails for eateries - as it did here - I headed for Nando's, which was almost empty, and where I was quickly served and well fed. I then retraced my steps to the cinema:
The automatic ticket machines weren't working, so I queued at the box office and got some chocolate - no wine here. The tickets are a flat £6.99, which is the least I've paid in a long time! Seating is unallocated, so I sat pretty central - as did everyone else, when they came. Decor is a bit scruffy, but fine.Ah, I'm sorry, but this film is taking the mickey. I read the online reviews and can't believe we watched the same film. "Hokum" is right - it's the greatest piece of nonsense to hit Irish cinema in years. It's packed with the most atrocious cast of village idiots.. Our American protagonist arrives at the hotel his now-deceased parents honeymooned at, back in the auld sod. He's going to scatter their ashes there.
Soon he meets a preposterous cast of characters - one of the employees is in the car park, in possession of a crossbow and a dead goat - he shoots the local goats to prevent them climbing on the cars. Inside is a very creepy old man - Brendan Conroy - who's telling salacious, and very creepy, tales to a couple of small boys, with the help of some miserable-looking figurines. The bellboy is a writer on the side, with a manuscript he'd like him to look at. The manager calls him "Yank", which no self-respecting human being would ever use as a term of address. They all have cheesy grins plastered on their faces. And when he goes out into the woods to scatter the ashes, he meets one of the more appealing characters - David Wilmot is an old crusty who lives in a van in the woods and spends his time getting stoned.
The hotel has that musty feel of a very old house with a very solid structure and very fussy decor - thick carpets, oak everywhere. Fair enough, they still exist. But oh dear, what a nonsensical story.. packed with jump scares, and as someone said, horror by numbers - the creepy location, weird characters, badly lit corridors, a red room with 70s decor..
Then one of the staff goes missing - and it turns into an episode of Murder, She Wrote. The film can't decide whether it's supposed to be a horror or a comedy, and is simply badly made for a horror - characters that are odd, but not enough to be spooky: a location that's supposed to scare us in itself, with weirdly out-of-date decor: frequent jump scares: and a ridiculous and unfeasible ending.. I kept falling asleep.
It's just a mess. Avoid. Anyway, it ran too late to blog last night.
Tonight.. well, it happened before and it's happened again. There's a Meetup group called LGBTQ Culture Lovers - and they were off to a performance of Brahms Symphony No. 1 at St. John's Waterloo. Free glass of wine included. I don't swing that way, but nothing to stop me going on my own! It's called a "rush hour" concert, and certainly it was on early.
I left early - and just as well, because the bus terminated about halfway, the driver turfing us all off and sailing off down the road without us. I figured I'd be faster walking - and indeed, I did make it just in time. Showed my ticket, picked up a free programme, and moseyed over to get my wine. The wine came from boxes - and they'd just run out of wine glasses, asked whether I'd mind having it in a champagne flute. So that's what I had - sadly, I don't think you can fit as much wine in there..
Seating was unassigned, but it was pretty packed, so I grabbed the first seat I saw:
It was about an hour, straight through - they started with a couple of Bach fugues, which were lovely, despite being introduced by someone who, if she's to take up public speaking, should really learn to enunciate.. and then were into the main piece. It might be Brahms, but as the programme points out, it's also known as Beethoven's 10th, it sounds so much like him. Well, I'm a huge Beethoven fan, he's my favourite classical composer - and for sure, it does have the crashing, booming sound of Beethoven. Still, not the best to have yourself compared with someone else, I'd have thought - even someone so prestigious. Lovely concert, anyway.
I booked to eat afterwards in The Archduke - I knew I'd be finished a bit after 7, but couldn't get a booking before 7.45. Fair enough, I said, I'll head on over, they usually have space, and can probably seat me. And so it proved - I even got a window seat. Had my usual - plus the soup, which was butternut squash today, and is beautifully sweet. Unfortunately, it was scalding hot.. The carafe they have here isn't as large as most, and as I had three courses, I ran out of wine too early - had another glass on top. Anyway, I always find it relaxing, there.
On Saturday, first of two Meetups in a row, back with Laurence Summers and the 45+ Not Grumpies for a reprise of his walk through the Old Jewish Neighbourhood. Yes, I've done it before - but I'm sure I don't remember half of it, and it's been years since.. I do remember it being good, though. Also delighted to see that prepayment is no longer required for attendees, whatever setting was changed!
On the 18th, back with UITCS in Soho Place for The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind - a musical based on the true story of a boy in Malawi who built a wind turbine from scrap materials and provided necessary power to his community. Chiwetel Ejiofor, who starred in, and directed, the film, is executive producer. I got my ticket on Seatplan, which I used a Seatplan voucher for, and which garners me extra Seatplan points! Eating in Bistro1 beforehand - and I must remember not to have the calamari..
On the 22nd, Movie Roadhouse London are finally having a social again! Ah, it's been so long.. so, back at the BFI Balcony Bar, and I've booked to eat at The Archduke beforehand. I tell you, without the main organiser in town, these things don't happen.. strange that numbers are limited, mind- never happened before.. A function of the fact that the group is under new management. no doubt.. it isn't even in conjunction with The Hideout any more. Not liking this change..
On the 23rd, The Hideout organiser is talking about heading to a cat cafe.. watch this space. Anyway, that evening I've signed up to go with him, and The Hideout, to a new slasher, Corporate Retreat - details TBA.
On the 24th, talking about heading back to The Lanesborough for sachertorte, this time with Mark and Martin.. our monthly catch-up. Waiting on Martin to confirm a time.
On the 27th, taking instruction from that LGBTQ group again, who kindly shared that CT has cheap tickets for a performance of The Creation by Haydn, in the Royal Festival Hall. So, headed to that, and eating in The Archduke beforehand.
Then I have two appropriately vampiric days! On the 28th, I'm back with The Hideout for Vampire's Kiss, an old comedy with Nicholas Cage, in which he thinks he's been dating a vampire, and is now turning into one himself. Showing in the Prince Charles of course, and we're meeting in Victory House beforehand. Now, I would have booked to eat in Bella Italia before that - but their booking system seems to be down! Will probably be ok to walk up anyway.
And on the 29th - well, one of the things we were talking about doing for the series of Dracula events was going to a ballet - and sure enough, there is a Dracula ballet in town! Supposed to be good, with a classical soundtrack - and sure enough, when I checked today, it was almost completely booked up. The only tickets left were on the evening of the 26th - which I couldn't manage - and the matinees of the 27th and 29th - so I'm taking the 29th off, being a Friday, and will go to it that day! Can't see I'll persuade anyone to go with me though - they'd either have to take time off work, or if not, they might not be in work, and might baulk at the price! Never mind, I can be the LoMAZ representative..! Showing in the Palladium - I had to take the Second Circle to get the lowest price, and as legroom is reportedly tight, I made sure to get an aisle seat. Eating in the Shakespeare's Head afterwards.
And on the 30th - a reprise of Laurence's Nooks and Crannies walk. And afterwards, back with The Hideout for Backrooms - the film version of Backrooms on Creepypasta, a series of liminal horror videos about featureless, unending rooms and corridors, sometimes with hostile beings in them.. stars Chiwetel Ejiofor and Renate Reinsve. Details TBA.
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